I was born on a Monday morning at the end of the 80s, a simpler time where Music had synth drums, shoulders had pads and Men brought home the bacon leaving their wives to worry about raising kids.
My daughter Lea ( short of Leæna) was born the day after my 31st birthday in a very different world. Sure, aesthetically it all sort of looks the same but that’s just the cyclical nature of things. When my wife and I decided we were “ready”, and I use the term as loosely as is humanly possible, to have a baby we knew a few things with some certainty.
We were not ready, and we knew this.
No one is ever ready to deal with the ongoing and never-ending responsibilities that come with being charged with the care of a life you sloppily created. Knowing this, we felt, was half the battle, as they say.
A female child would not be named Electra no matter how many times I brought it up.
My ego-driven lifestyle and the freedom that came with it was not going to survive my wife’s return to the workforce at the end of her maternity leave.
I’m what has come to be known as a Freelance “Shreditor”( Shooter, Director, Producer, Editor). In a nutshell, I get hired by clients to create videos for them and/or their companies. Once a year I undertake production of a personal project, a short film most of the time, which I send to festivals, and in my downtime, I review film gear on Youtube, mostly because I’m a gearhead and enjoy it.
When we found out my wife was expecting we converted my home office into a nursery. To replace my lost man cave I opened a coworking/studio space called Xenospace, where I and other freelance creators like myself work from. My freelance work and managing Xenospace are my main responsibilities and my primary source of income. I’m a creative, accidentally turned entrepreneur out of necessity. My wife, however, has a real job, which contrary to my job has a regular paycheck.
She would never say something like this but, her job is more important than mine.
She works from 8-4, most of the time. I work when; I have work to do. Which means some days I work for an hour, others for 18.
So why does any of this matter? Flexibility.
My wife’s job doesn’t allow her to be flexible. There is an office she needs to be at with subordinates she needs to manage; daily.
Every single day, Monday through Friday. I, answer to no one really, except clients when we have deadlines, but days where I’m on location shooting aside, I can work anytime from anywhere which means I’m on daddy duty.
I used to wake up at 9 am, zombie shuffle my undercaffeinated ass into the living room to find my wife and daughter playing. They’d been up since the crack of dawn, multiple diapers laters I’d show up grumbling about how sleepy I still was. Meanwhile, she’d already fed the baby breakfast, a bottle or two, played and who knows what else.
That was then, in this blog I hope to explore the person I have to be now that we are Raising a Tiny Human.