Shoulda Woulda Coulda

Shoulda Woulda Coulda


The one thing a lot of the other parents I meet always ask me are, well; questions I know that seems like  If their child is younger than our tiny human, the floodgates open. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind and it’s understandable that a new parent should seek guidance from their peers, but I personally make a point to not ask too many questions. When did she sit up, how old was she when you gave her solids, how many teeth should she have by now, when can we change the car seat to be more upright.

The simple answer is I have no idea. None.

Pre- Tiny human, if I asked you to evaluate the roles in my relationship with my wife, the conclusion you’d come to was very simple. She’ the laid back one, and I’m the obsessively anxious planner. But growing a life inside of her shifted that dynamic in a way neither of us could have foreseen.

I often find her sitting on our bed in the dark, her face lit by the cool blue light of her phone, which is a few inches from her face. She’s hit google, hard.

How much weight should my child be gaining?
When should my child Speak?
At what age should I stop purées?
When should she walk?
Which teeth should grow out first, and when?

When she returns form her dark descent, if our tiny human doesn’t fall into the normal conventions set out by “The Mom Hive” of the internet, I can feel the sadness in her voice. It’s as if because she grew a lateral incisor before her two front teeth somehow we have failed as parents.

I, on the other hand, have taken the role of laid-back Dad guy, and if I'm being completely honest: I have no idea how it happened. I feel like a big part of it is our tiny human's ability to the never cease to amaze me. Seriously, the kid is way smarter than she should be and her problem-solving skills are next level. I often feel kind in awe of her because I don't think I've actually taught her anything. It seems like she learns new things without any outside intervention or help, form us.

Keeping that in mind, I'm not really concerned with when she should hit milestones. All kids are different and so are their needs and development. Who cares when my kid did or said or grew something, yours will do or say or grow something when the time is right for them to do so.
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Some nights she doesn't want food for dinner, she prefers yogurt peanut butter on whole grain toast and adult sized serving of cheerios- and that's ok sometimes. 

The one thing all of us need to remember about our tiny humans is that they are just that. Little people and they are all different, just like us.